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Am I losing my friend?
I know exactly what you are going through, no lie. My friend moved to Virginia while I stayed here in California. I know she is making friends in Virginia and I have a lot of friends here in California. It took us a little bit to get used to the change. Ever since the move we have been calling, writing and e-mailing each other. So, just because you guys are miles apart doesn't mean you are drifting apart. My friend and I are the best of friends even though we haven't seen each other in ages. Try to tell her what's going on with you and she will keep you updated on what's going on with her. So, just because you guys are far apart doesn't mean you need to break off a good friendship.
ndships end with the project?
Found at http://www.agirlsworld.com/geri/bfa/bfarchive/LosingFriend.html
Why do friendships have to end with projects?
I have a weird problem. When I work on school projects with a group of friends or fellow students (like on weekends and after school) we all get along great, have a blast and I seem to fit in but after the project is over, no one from the group ever calls or e-mails me or wants to get together. Why does friendship have to last only as long as the project?
I know it. Isn't that completely irritating? Just as you think you've found people that aren't from outer-space, the project's over and everyone goes back to their normal friends. It makes you wonder if they were just
pretending to like you, doesn't it!? (-:
What I suggest you try, is contacting them all yourself. It it turns out they weren't just pretending to like you, get the whole group together for a little reunion. Send an invitation to everyone telling them how much fun you had during the project and invite them all to a party or an outing. If there was a really cool place you all went during your project, have that be the place of your reunion fiesta. Hopefully, this fun-loving idea will work on one of your many groups and will create a few new friends.
Found at http://www.agirlsworld.com/geri/bfa/bfarchive/WhyEndWithProject.html
Have you lost the trust of a friend?
Recently I have been lying a lot to all my friends, even the closest ones. I cannot help lying; it has now become something I do daily. So, about six weeks ago, my best friend of three years came up to me and asked my why I was always lying. And I lied to her and told her I wasn't. The next day we had another fight and we havent spoken to each other since. Last week I sent her a message saying I was sorry for what I said, and I told her that I had been lying and everything. I begged her to forgive me, but she won't. Now she is in the same touch football team as me, and I dont want our fighting to cause problems for the rest of the team. All my other friends have told me that if she's not prepared to forgive me, then I should forget about her because she's obviously not a true friend. I constantly think about her everyday, and I wish we were still friends. I can't move on, I need her to be my friend. What do I do??
I can totally understand where you're coming from - been there, done that. But you also have to consider how your friend is feeling. She's caught you in many lies, and friends aren't supposed to lie. It seems as though you've appologized, and you tried reasoning with her, but she won't give in. Maybe that's because she isn't taking your words seriously. She can't really accept your appology and fogive you if she knows in the past you have lied to her. She may just think "This is just another lie. She might just go and do it again!" That really could be what she is thinking. So stop saying and start DOING! You have to show her you are a true friend and you are really sorry for your actions. You have to do all of this by not lying to her or anything and treating her really well over the next little while. This doesn't mean totally sucking up to her or anything, this just means she has to be able to gain trust in you again.
I'm sure she also needs time to think where she is at with all of this. Don't you think you at least owe it to her for this? And really, you shouldn't be thinking of how you feel about all of this, you should be thinking of how SHE feels. She was the one who was lied to and hurt many times. So for a while just back off. Give her space, and time, and freedom.Within that though, try showing her you are a good friend by doing different things. Like things she likes. She's your friend, so what do you think she'd like to see happen from you? Maybe that's a question you should ask her. She might just say something like "I don't want to ever be friends with you again." or something along those lines, but don't give up. Give her lots of time, and space and try your hardest to prove to her you are a good friend.
As for the touch football team, that's a perfect opportunity for you to be nice to her. Do things like calling out her name and passing her the ball. Things like that. After the game say "Wasn't that a great game?" or just say some sort of comment on it. If you start talking to her in bits and pieces it can be a lot easier for her to gain trust in you again, and forgive you. Don't let the team suffer because of you.
I hope this helps!
Found at www.agirlsworld.com
Do you have a friend that's parents recently got divorced?
As sad as this is to tell you, most kids never get over a divorce. It may seem like it's a pretty long time, but just imagine your whole world being turned up side down and having to get used to a new way of living!
The best thing you can do for your friend is to be there for her. Do little cute things for her to cheer her up, like packing an extra cookie in your lunch for her! It will really mean a lot to your friend if you stay your same, bubbly self, so she won't have to feel like she's dealing with another thing when she sees you.
Make sure she knows that if she ever wants to talk about things bothering her that you're there to listen. With a little Tender Loving Friend Care, you'll make a big difference in the way she feels!!
Found at http://www.agirlsworld.com/geri/bfa/bfarchive/FriendsParentsDivorcing.html
Do you struggle with self confidence?
I really don’t have much self-confidence at all and I am embarrassed REALLY easy. I feel so totally unattractive, and that my clothes aren’t good enough, and my personality isn’t good enough. Actually there was this one really pretty girl that goes to my school and I have actually tried acting like her. That was a disaster! Some of my friends usually hang w/ the "popular crowd" and I end up standing off to the side by myself. That makes me feel like such a little kid. And If I ever do try to talk I end up saying something totally stupid and really embarrassing myself. Any advice?
The best way to gain self-esteem is to not look down on yourself. Find things about you that you like. Do you have nice hair? A cute laugh? Dimples when you smile? Beautiful eyes? There is always something! Ok, here are the rules! 1. Never doubt yourself, you can do and be anything you want. 2. Don't ever insult yourself, 3. It's ok to be shy! But don't be afraid to get out there and make some friends! Be yourself, don't imitate someone else. My final advice to you is this. Don't worry about what other people think of you, they're too worried about what you think of them!
Hey! I SO felt the same way you did a few years ago. Here are a few ways I thought of that might make you feel more confident, and some things that I did! 1. Get your hair cut. Is there any celebrity you admire that has cool hair? If so, cut out her picture and bring it to a hair stylist. 2. Get your nails done. It may be a small thing, but something that little really does make a difference. 3. Say what you mean. Don't be embarrassed, and don't be afraid to look silly. One girl wrote in her yearbook that the day you laugh at yourself is the day you grow up. That is so true! Just talk to people who make you feel comfortable. Smile. Be friendly. If you keep to yourself all the time, it makes you seem unapproachable to other people. You know what I mean? Imagine this: If you see a girl sitting alone keeping to herself, can you see yourself walking up to her and talking to her? Not really. So basically just approach people who you'd like to be friends with, and ask them a conversation starter such as, "What sports do you do?" Or, "I love your jeans! Where did you get them?" Good luck!
Found at http://www.agirlsworld.com/tessa/tta/index.html
Fights with a friend?
Dear Dish It,
I'm 12 and i'm in middle school. I've got several friends. Anyway, back about three of four years ago, I met this really nice girl from my class and we became great friends. I would call her every single day to talk to her. I would tell her all my problems and she would come to me first if she had any problems. Me, her and my other best friend would get together all the time to watch movies and stuff. We'd talk like nothing could ruin our friendship. To put into words, I'd gladly take a bullet for this girl. You probably think this is sappy and everything but I'm serious. My god, I've written songs about us! But to get to the point now - I just started middle school and we both have a bunch of new friends. But it seems like I'm invisible to her. Just today I was walking along in the hall and she was smiling ear to ear, and of course I thought she was happy to see me so I said hi and she just walked right on by. I found out that one of her new friends was walking right behind me. I also heard her name off all her "crew" to some girl and she didn't mention my name. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep at night because of this. Please help!
Starting high school is a big adjustment. You are thrown into a brand new school with tons of new people to meet and sometimes old friendships are tested a little. It sounds like your friend has gotten caught up in trying to fit in with new crowds and sorting out who she's going to be. This doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend anymore. Chances are she doesn't even realize that her actions have hurt your feelings. If she's such a great friend, why not try talking to her? Call her up and just see how she's doing. Instead of getting mad, just ask her how she's liking middle school and subtly mention that you miss hanging out with her. Invite her over for a study session or ask her if she wants to hit the mall on the weekend. It's important for you both to branch out and meet new people, but that doesn't mean that you still can't be good friends. It'll just take a little effort from both of you! Good Luck.
Found at http://www.kidzworld.com/me/advice-corner
More Fights with a friend?
I think I might be sick of my friend. She came over for a sleepover last week and once she left, I was surprised that I was EXTREMELY happy. I mean, I usually need a break from a friend if I hang out with them for at least 3-4 days, but never for this long! I don't feel like talking to her or hanging out with her at all. I am also glad that I'm not going to the same middle school as her. But I am feeling kinda guilty, and I don't think I should end the friendship yet. Even if I thought I should, I would be way too shy. What should I do right now?
Don't worry. This is something we ALL go through. Friends can DEFINITELY get on our nerves, especially when we're around them for long periods of time. Try to avoid DUMPING her. Maybe try to do new things with her. Try a new sport together, play dress ups and go for a walk around your suburb and see all the weird looks you get (it’s great fun, I still do, just make sure you have parental permission) or cook a new food. This can make your time together more exciting. Also, try not to spend too long around each other, or you'll just get bored. Try and hang out with other friends more. This doesn’t mean dumping her, just being friends with others. Or try hanging out with a group of more exciting friends and invite her along too so she doesn’t feel left out. But please don’t ditch her because she'll feel hurt, you'll feel guilty and people might think you aren’t very nice. Good Luck!
that's a tough one. But, it is a very common sitch that a lot of us girls find ourselves in at some point or another. Cutting this girl off really fast and just completely ignoring her would be wrong. However, it would be wrong if your only motive for hanging out with her was that you feel guilty about not liking her company anymore. People change, friends drift away and that's not always a bad thing. You will both lose friends and make more friends in life, so if you find yourself drifting apart, it's okay. Just be subtle about it. Next time she invites you to do something, politely decline the invitation and tell her that you have plans. If you guys talk over the internet, slowly stop initiating the conversations and start to make your replies shorter. Or next time she talks to you over the internet, think up an honest excuse for something you have to do. After a while, she will move on to other girls who will give her more attention. Things will be fine, girl. No worries.
Moving to a new school?
How to Adjust to a New School - Don't Be Shy
This is easier said than done, but one of the best things to remember about moving to a Advice is that most of the new people will want to get to know you. If you introduce yourself right away to as many peeps as possible, you'll probably get more invites to join your classmates for lunch, share a text book in class, etc.
How to Adjust to a New School - Join, Join, Join
So, how do you make friends if you are brand new to a school where most people have known each other their whole lives? Get in there and join a School Sports Team, the drama club or any other extracurricular activity. This is a great way to meet people who share the same interests as you!
How to Adjust to a New School - Be Accepting
You've probably left behind a ton of great friends at your old school, and are pretty bummed about not starting the school year with them, but you want to make sure that you give the kids at your new school a chance. Invite 'em over to your place to study together, host a movie night or plan a trip to the mall. You don't have to forget about your old friends, but making new friends can be a great experience too!
Found at http://www.kidzworld.com/me/advice-corner
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